A Leap of Faith

This year is a good year for marriage. It is the year of the Golden Pig, and year-end is always an auspicious time for Chinese marriages. In this last quarter of this year, many of my coursemates have also gotten married - registered but have yet to host the ceremony. Still, they are married in the eyes of law. Most of these couples are my coursemates, as in both husband and wife are medical students with me. They met in med school, fell in love and in our final year of marriage decided to make this commitment of a lifetime.

My good friend Julian said that if you want to be trendy, get registered to the one you love. It is the new fad of the faculty.

There are many reasons for these couples to get married. I think the main reason is the fear of separation. When we graduate and become housemen, we can be posted all over the country. Married couples have a better chance of getting the same hospital.

Being separated from the one you love for a couple of years is terrifying. Many things can happen when you are apart... Insecurity, doubt, change of heart? Coupled with the stress of work and a new way of life, many need the constant support from their significant other.

I respect these friends of mine for their confidence in their love, and their commitment. Marriage is a HUGE step in life. It is a bond that 2 people share for as long as they live. They have decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives with their partner, and I am happy for them.

At the same time, I as an outsider who am not in love cannot stop wondering if being married is the solution. I see many more couples who are also like the perfect matches from heaven continue as they are... These individuals did not see a need to get married to keep or save their relationship. They believe in giving their relationship a test of faith. Ming told me of a friend whose opinion was that relationships in campus developed under a protected environment and they need to be tested in the real world when we start working.

I really like that point of view. These couples are giving themselves a chance as an individual to experience life and yet grow together. I am not taking sides. There are pros and cons to marriage as well as the reverse.

Eventually, most of us will get married. Some to people whom they are going out with, some to friends who have yet to turned lovers, some to people whom they have yet to meet. Marriage is a big leap of faith because when we do, we are willingly commiting ourselves to a life of constant sharing. No more the freedom of being single. We are entrusting our happiness to our other half. There is no guarantee that we will be blissfully married. Just the faith in your love one.

We wouldn't know where life can bring us, or who it will lead us to. When we leap off a cliff, we might land hard at the bottom...

or perhaps we may grow wings.